Hail to the buff and blue.

Last week's City Paper featured a story by Julie Westfall that purported to know "How George Washington University Became the Most Expensive School in the Country." She expounded on how expensive our Colonial Inauguration is (laser light show and all). But quite candidly, she missed so many other features on which an GW grad could expound.

Here's my top 10 list of why GW is costs $50,630 per year:

1. The university owns our fraternity and sorority houses. Can you imagine the liability insurance it has to carry as a result?

2. Have you priced real estate in Foggy Bottom lately? Considering that GW is the largest landholder in DC outside of the federal government, I imagine they spent a pretty penny for the fine swampland on which dorms and academic buildings stand.

3. Because it is in such a landgrab, it aggressively seeks to buy property from people who are often unwilling to sell (at first). Can you imagine how much GW's legal fees are?

4. GW is perhaps the only school with bathrooms in every individual dorm. Can you imagine the plumbing fees?

5. GW is also perhaps the only school where a maid cleans student dorm rooms at least once per week. Human capital is also expensive.

6. GW has always had a complex in relation to its more highly-rated competitor, Georgetown University. As a result, it has been willing to spend lavishly to buy the best faculty it can.

7. Also because GW has always had a complex in relation to its more highly-rated competitor, it has invested beaucoup d'argent in glossy marketing collateral.

8. Our graduations has typically been held on the Ellipse. Can you imagine the fees associated with securing such space?

9. Have you been to the Marvin Center lately? Its food court pales that of the glitziest mall I have ever seen.

10. Stephen Joel Trachtenberg's salary would have made many a corporate titan comfortable.

Don't get me wrong, I LOVED my GW experience. But I also love my parents more, particularly since they paid for such a lavish education. I hope that this year's crop of students appreciates their parents as much as I do mine.